Big and Little

I did something highly unusual in the past week:  I started working through my ‘mending’ box!  Anyone who knows me will be quite shocked, as indeed I am (I must admit, I have tended to save up mending for my dear mum’s visits).  It was a very surprising experience.  I found articles of clothing that I’d forgotten we owned (which was exciting) – and couldn’t believe that with literally a few minutes of stitching, they could return to our wardrobes!  Some things took a little longer, a couple had to go to the rag bag.  But by the end of the second episode of Star Wars (I was trying to ‘value-add’ to a family movie-fest by mending on the side), I’d nearly worked my way through everything: much of which had been in the box for up to five years!  Something which I’d put off, thinking it was such a ‘big job’, was actually minimal.  And just a little bit of stitching had managed to bring about a ‘big’ result.

I wonder how many other things I confuse in this way.  Housework seems like such a daunting prospect sometimes; but throw an hour or a few at it, and things are usually improved.  Bringing up kids is an endless series of ‘little’ incidents and interactions – but in reality, it is my life’s work (at least for 25 years or so).  So many of the ‘little’ areas, such as my way of reacting to problems, the way I speak to them, and all the myriad little occurrences that require consistency and wisdom will – for better or worse – add up to major, lifelong repercussions in their characters (terrifying thought).  Conversely, some minor things that I tend to make a big fuss over would probably be better left alone.

I often wonder if our perceptions about big and little might be somewhat warped.  I feel like God has been hammering away at this area for a while now, questioning me about the judgments I automatically make – about what is ‘big’ and what is ‘little’: what is worthwhile, and what is a waste; what is important and what is insignificant.  Funnily enough, this little area has massive implications in the way we approach life and ministry!

Our culture generally tells us that Big is Best: big house, big car, big muscles, big bank account, big impact … think BIG!  (And then, think bigger!!)  The church culture has often caught on to this approach too – ‘mega-churches’, ‘international ministries’, big crowds, measurable success, tangible results, strategic thinking…  There can be an unconscious pressure to pursue ‘big’ dreams and to measure yourself or your ministry’s worth by these standards.

Meanwhile, God seems to have very different priorities.  While he obviously delights in the ‘big’ – mountains, blue whales, dinosaurs, galaxies – He seems to equally exult in the small – blue wrens, cacti, micro-organisms, human brain cells…  Pick a flower for example, and you notice that not only does it have exquisite veins running through each petal, but the centre is composed of rows of tiny little florets that are perfect in their detail.  Just about everything in His creation is like that – you look at it and realise that beyond the apparent simplicity there are staggeringly minute complexities.

In His story too, he seems to enjoy turning our perceptions of big and little on their heads.  Take Gideon’s army, for example.  He ventures out with 32,000 – by the time God has finished there are just 300 warriors left who, in the strength of God, overcome the armies of Midian (Judges 6-8).  He uses a young guy, David, to fell a ferocious and bullying giant.  He feeds a multitude with a small basket of bread and fish.  He confers great honour on a small widow giving the two smallest coins.  He speaks, not through the wind, the earthquake or the fire, but in the “still, small voice”.

A verse that came to me lately is from Zechariah: “Who dares despise the day of small things?” (4:10).  What a challenge to our habitual preference for big – for large scale success, for measurable results, for high impact! Why do we constantly ignore the fact that God seems to actually prefer to use the small, the hidden, the weak, and the insignificant to achieve his great purposes.

Why do you think this would be His way?

In the same chapter God clarifies that these things He was about to do would come about “not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit” (v6).  Perhaps all our “big thinking” can be a path to spiritual blindness.  We crave might and power, we crave results and affirmation, we crave control and guarantees of success.  But God says these are not the way He will achieve His purposes.  Unlike us, God will not despise a ‘humble and contrite heart’; He lifts up the humble and His strength is made perfect in weakness.

Father please deliver me from the arrogance of my own false judgments – about what is valuable, who is worth investing in, and what is glorifying to you.  Deliver me from the blindness of the kind of ‘big thinking’ that puts the focus on results and achievements and returns.  Tune my ear to your still, small voice that I might follow your leading in my day, and see people and situations with your perspective and with your values.  Let me enjoy noticing every good gift from you, and letting my spirit be expanded by the intricacies and wonders of your creation.  In all of this, grow my understanding, my dependence and my vision – that I will trust not in might or power, but in your Spirit; that you might use my small acts of responsiveness as part of your great purposes in this world.

making space to listen…

It’s been a pretty amazing day. A friend we’ve known for a few years now came around this arvo, a changed man! I couldn’t quite believe what I was hearing, as he poured out some of the big things he’d been going through, and how he was realising that he needed God in his life (among several other great realisations). His whole demeanour was different – humble, open, freer than we’d ever seen, talking about God in a real way (which was surprising enough!!).

It’s just another clear reminder to Chris and I that God is deeply involved in His world, bringing people towards Himself, rescuing them from the holes they’ve dug for themselves, and healing the deep wounds this world has dished out. This is what He is always doing.

We’ve been thinking a lot about prayer this year – reading Norman Grubb’s book: Rees Howells, Intercessor, has been quite influential in this. I think I’ve asked God to grow my prayer life every New Years for about the last 10 years or more. I think this year I might be beginning to see the answer to this particular prayer…

Maybe it’s because he’s finally got it through my thick head how much I need Him, how utterly incapable I am (in my own strength) of changing another person (or even myself…). Maybe I just needed lots of experiences of relative fruitlessness, so that I would finally think differently about my own adequacy… Not just “I should pray”, but “If i don’t pray, I’m a fool!”.

It’s not that I never prayed, don’t get me wrong… I have prayed over the years for people I’ve been involved with, for people I’m leading, for my kids & my husband. In all of this, God has been faithful. But something is different now. Now, I’m loving trying to learn to pray… I’m seeing how fruitful life can be when we make a priority of wrestling in prayer for people’s lives; and especially making time & space to listen to God about who to pray for & what to pray for them…

We are rank beginners in all this, but very happy to be starting on this adventure. We are getting amazed at how God is answering our prayers for people & situations. Maybe a big factor in this is the fact that we are setting aside time each week to listen to Him, and wait on Him, asking for His leading in our prayers. So He can show us what He is up to – and He’s so gracious that He invites us in on it, by putting it on our hearts to pray for! Is that how it works??? I don’t really know, but I do feel like I’m on the journey to learn.

We Cornerstoners are pretty great at running around doing things. We pour out our hearts & souls & strength to care for others, teach them, lead them, & help them grow. I’ve been doing this for lots of years now.

I just wonder if God is whispering to our movement (and to plenty of others in His kingdom), reminding us that we need to keep learning to live out what we teach about life in the Spirit – about what it really means to let Him be in the driver’s seat. A sheep dog on the loose can have a lot of fun in a paddock, running itself ragged – I just heard today about a friend’s pet sheepdog who busies himself all day, rounding up their pet chooks! But how different is it when the farmer is there, calling out the orders?! Suddenly there’s a very clear ‘method in the madness’, the frantic scurrying turns into direct dashes effecting excellent results in the paddock, as the dog becomes the outworking of the farmer’s intention.

I want to work smarter, not harder. I want to get a whole lot better at listening to my master, so that my action can actually be the outworking of His intention. I want to be sharing my life with the vine, bearing much fruit. I don’t want to be so busy running around doing what I think needs to be doing, that I’m unable to hear the call of the One who can actually bring life & love & healing to those around me.